3 Mistakes People Make
Have you ever said yes to an invitation and wondered why the hell you did?
Or, you wanted to go at the time and now you are exhausted and don’t know how to get out of it?
This has happened to every one of us for many different reasons. We all want to be well liked, part of something and what’s happening, we don’t want to experience FOMO syndrome (Fear of Missing Out) we love socialising and morally some of us just can’t say no for fear of hurting feelings or missing out.
We have the right not to give an answer straight away when invited to something. If we can’t say a definite yes, we are still struggling with the answer or a little voice is telling you something, then it’s probably because you don’t want to go.
I suggest we pause for 5-6 seconds to ask these 3 simple questions before we give our reply:
- Do I want to go?
- Can I fit this in?
- Is this friend on my reciprocal list?
Do I want to go? You have the right to say, ‘I just don’t know at the moment without checking, can I get back to you on that?’
Mel Robbins author of the 5 Second Rule calls it Buffering, giving your brain time to catch up.
If you’ve said yes and now you simply don’t have the energy to go and going would be at the expense of your health and wellbeing, then put yourself first and politely phone or email and thank them for the invitation and thinking of you but you are unable to make it.
‘Can I fit it in?’ sits in the same reasoning, check what else you have on that week and make sure you have some nights at home for early to bed nights to replenish your energy levels?
Are the on my reciprocal list? This is when you keep saying yes to people and they never say yes to your invites or reciprocate with an invitation your way, ever! Friendships in my opinion are a two-way street and sometimes we are always the one showing up and doing all the inviting. If it is someone that never turns up to your invitations or invites you to things then they’re not on My List as far as I’m concerned!
Sarah Wright from The Thanksgiving Art of not Giving a F@#K believes we must stop giving them away and save our F@#K’s for when you really do need them.
I know you must be thinking that’s a bit harsh! We are so busy these days and have less time to fit all the genuine people in to our lives, we need to become more protective of our time. I have no problem weeding my garden if friends don’t give back. It leaves more time for the quality friendships in my life and ME time.
The older I get the less I worry about what other people think. By saying yes to everything for all the reasons above is at the detriment of your health, loved ones, home life and your budget. The party will still go on without you and you won’t miss out on much if you make your ‘staying in‘ as special as going out. Make a nice cup of tea or pour a glass of wine, read a book, watch a movie, do some yoga, meditation or go to bed early.
If you would like to know more about mentoring to gain better lifestyle habits and behaviours, book with Sandra here.